Taste the rainbow, BITCH!!!

Oh what a fucking week so far... Amanda's B-day is coming up on thursday. This year, we weren't really able to get the whole group together, so Cassy and I decided on our own little b-day deal. I bought a fat ass cake that'll be ready on thursday, and I spent so much money on it lol.... OMG, I feel like an idiot :-( Amanda becomes so demanding on her birthday, today she basically told me that she'd rather have ice-cream cake. YAY, 60 bucks of velvet cake down the drain (she told me a few months ago it's her favorite). Argh... anyways, I think it might be one of those things where u just get through it, and hope that she doesn't freak out lol. I've been trying so hard to let things go, and I feel like I have a big pile of dog pooh just sitting and stinking up my soul haha! 

Ok, now to the important stuff... Oma Neumann is in the hospital. I talked to her today, and she should be ok, but it's just so scary. She's about to turn 83, and it's such a critical time. Thank god she's still a fucking pistol. When I offered to make a little Germany visit, she just laughed... btw, someone laughing through a feeding tube over the phone was pretty sobering. I just wish I could relate to my german side of the family more, but I just don't get it. I understand that my rents and I haven't been there much,  but we're on a fucking different continent.... rest of the family on the other hand, lives 5 minutes away from granny, and somehow she still had to pay for a cab to get to the hospital.... what's wrong with people? Fuck, if those people were a little more accepting of my lifestyle (the homo thing), I wouldn't think twice about taking a plane tomorrow, but fuck... when u're not welcome, u're not welcome. 

Yesterday was a grand day at work... things got way too real, and I had a fucking nervous breakdown, I think at least... I still don't know what happened. I think just being so tense and stressed lately, in a combination of not eating meat, and not eating much more just sent my body into shock. It was pretty fucking embarrassing. I'm lucky that people at work really love and trust that I'm not crazy :-)

Uuuuuh, and yea, I caught lil mean Anthony giving me compliments behind my back... oh man, between that and him calling me his creampuff, I'm pretty sure it's love lol. 

Man, life is getting pretty tough. I know I'm not living in a third world country, and I'm not in danger of being murdered any minute, but fuck man... I just wanna be 24, make a little money, enjoy my time here, and be part of a solution. Is that too much to ask? Man, I'm so glad I have my family, oh yea and Cassy has been pretty helpful finding me new music, but then of course there are Josh (Best roomie ever) and finally Amy... the 3rd big sis lol. \

Time for bed... one more crazy day tomorrow and then weekend... (thurs n friday is my weekend).